In the crowd, I looked around, looking for a familiar face. I don’t know why I did, (looking out for you), but I did, and unknowingly, my eyes fell on you.
I saw you from afar, with your long straight hair and that hand, oh that hand, that brushed the hair away from your eyes. It felt like i was back to those days again. My heart raced, since I haven’t talked to you in months. And fuck, that feeling washed over me and I was head over heels all in a split second.
I tried my hardest to divert my attention to something else, for when I saw you, I saw her too. I felt betrayed, yet understood why. Somehow, I simply followed your footsteps, staring at you, no matter where you walked. Until I let you walk on into the crowd, away from me, together with her.
That feeling of misery and jealousy plagued me, and till now, it pulsates through my bones. Only now can I put it in words: I miss you so so so so much it hurts my core, it hurts my heart. And what hurts even more wasn’t that you were with her, it was that you weren’t in my life anymore.
I never wanted anything more (anymore) than just talking to you, and that’s not something I have told you. You only thought that I wanted to get you back, to get you to love me as much as I loved you. But really, I just want you in my life, even if you didn’t reciprocate, I want to keep talking to you, and know what’s up and literally, be there for you. I can’t even do that now.
So I watched you go, without turning back to look me in the eyes or give me a smile. I watched you be strong. And I let you go, with her, into the crowd. I stood there. Looking for a familiar face in the crowd, but I haven’t found one again.