I have always been one to enjoy silence. I never understood why i do, but i enjoy it: sitting in silence, staring at the night sky and trying to spot the stars embedded behind the curtains of clouds.
But recently, beyond this silence that was previously therapeutic, silence has become torture. You see, silence from you not talking to me, silence from everything around me being white noise, silence from me feeling like i’m just another aside in a play. Silence, from being alone and detached.
It’s pushing me to places that i have never seen before, and thats not exactly a good thing. It is pushing me so far the edge that i dont know how much longer i can hold on and continue living in this silence. Of course there are times when i escape from this silence but those times are filled with the fleeting emotion of ‘happiness’.
How do i carry on? I can’t accept this silence for what it is, i can’t. Maybe i won’t.